I Am So Angry

What an absolute fucking nightmare this day has been. The power went off in this part of Binghamton at 7 o'clock this morning. The initial estimate for restoration of service was 9:45 a.m. and as of 10:30 p.m, power has not yet been restored.

I'm using what little power is left on my computer's battery and the battery for my modem to write this. When they go, I'll be off line until power is restored for this building.

I'm angry because this has not only ruined my day, it's cost me about $40 in fresh and frozen food that is now spoiled. I'm angry because no one here at the YMCA has done anything for us. No one has made an effort to see if any of us have eaten. No one has made an effort to get us cold, bottled water. Per MSN's website, the temperature downtown as of 10:15 p.m. was 71 degrees. It's eighty-two degrees in my room.

Neither the city of Binghamton nor NYSEG has done anything for us either.

My mental state wasn't exactly the best coming into today, to begin with. Last Monday would have been my late wife's birthday if she were still alive. Next Thursday will mark the 15th anniversary of her death.

Okay, it's 10:37 and the damned power is back on. But I'm still angry, about all of this. I'm also upset with a local mental health crisis line, because I called there twenty minutes ago just wanting, needing, to talk to someone. The person I spoke to was rude and dismissive of my situation. The call lasted four minutes.

I don't talk about it much, and never have really discussed it here, but my mental health is less than perfect under the best of circumstances. I suffer from depression, I experience anxiety attacks, and I also have post-traumatic stress disorder. You can just imagine what a day like today has done to me.

I mean, I have to go out to the dumpster in a few minutes to dispose of several items. Melted ice cream (2 full pints), hot dogs that were warm to the touch, lunch meat that smells bad, cheese that smells bad, frozen green beans that I'm not about to take a chance on, mayonnaise, eggs, four small frozen pizzas, a partial bag of frozen french fries and a half carton of milk.

Wasted, every bit of it. All I have that I can safely eat right now are four breakfast bars and a can of Chef Boyardee ravioli. Yummy. (Sarcasm levels at 100%, Captain, according to our sensors).

Like I said, what an absolute fucking nightmare.